


I Think We're Snowblind

by 7_Magpies



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Miscommunication, Smut, Trapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28306461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: Things are tense between Shane and Ryan.Then they get stuck together on a ski lift.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 13
Kudos: 93
Collections: Skeptic Believer Book Club Secret Santa





	I Think We're Snowblind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the amazingly talented and wonderful [drunkkenobi](/users/drunkkenobi/) who had such a wonderful prompt in her request that I couldn't not do it. Here's hoping I do it justice.
> 
> Title is from "Snowblind" by Rob Thomas. I think it's worth noting that until about five minutes ago the title was "[insert kickass title here]"
> 
> Also, bear in mind, I have never been anywhere near a ski resort in my entire life. Just so ya know.

The company retreat was supposed to be a way for the crew at Watcher to grow closer together as a team.  _ Best laid plans… _ Shane thought to himself as he and Ryan very pointedly didn’t speak to each other in the lobby of the resort while Steven checked them in at the desk. 

The resort was nice, and Shane looked around at the decor, while trying not to make it obvious he was avoiding Ryan. The building was four stories tall, and the lobby was open so he could see all the way up to the glass ceiling and the blue sky above. The interior was log, and there were a number of plush looking couches scattered throughout the lobby with people congregating around them.

Shane always felt somewhat out of place as a ridiculously tall, goofy looking man in a field of pretty young things. This resort was no different. All of the skiers seemed to be young and athletic individuals, and everywhere he looked he felt like he was in some fashion magazine’s winter spread. Back home in LA he was good at ignoring the feeling of inadequacy, but here he felt himself slouching his shoulders and almost trying to disappear into his parka. He wished he could distract himself by talking with Ryan.

Luckily, Steven came up to him with a keycard and handed it over. “You and Ryan are on the top floor.”

_ Shit. _ He and Ryan had said they’d share a room a week earlier during the planning phase of the trip. Of course they had. Their verbal agreement was simply a formality.He and Ryan were inseparable, after all. 

Shane reached for his arm before Steven could walk away. “Hey, um, sorry, but would you mind switching rooms with me?”

Steven simply raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I just… Ryan’s not happy with me right now, and I’m-”

He was cut off by Steven’s sigh. “Shane, come on, you and Ryan never  _ actually _ fight. You always work it out. If you two aren’t getting along, you know the whole company’s gonna feel it. Just go to the room and talk it out, okay? Quickly—our reservation on the ski slope is in a little over an hour.”

He walked away before Shane could try to argue again. He decided to just go up to the room and hope for the best.

When he found the room and went in, he saw Ryan standing on the balcony and looking out over the mountains. 

“Hi,” he said quietly, feeling awkward as he set his duffel bag down on the bed-- _ the only bed. _ Shit. 

Ryan didn’t even look back at him when he walked in. 

“Ryan, please, can we talk?”

“What is there to talk about?” 

Shane sighed. “Can we please just make it through the weekend?” He looked up and noticed Ryan shivering. “Come inside, you’re cold.”

“I’m fine. And yeah, I’ll be civil,” he said in a tone that made Shane not so keen to trust his words. 

“Ryan, please, just let me explain—”

His friend spun to face him, and Shane saw his cheeks were pink and eyes were glassy, but whether from the cold or emotion was impossible to tell. “There’s nothing to explain, Shane. I’m going to the lobby—we’re leaving for the slopes soon.” He left, his shoulder bumping hard against Shane’s arm on his way past.

Watching him leave, Shane reached out to grab his hand and make him stop, but he stopped just before he touched him, thinking better of it. There wasn’t going to be any reasoning with him until he calmed down. That didn’t stop Shane from feeling the anxiety building in himself as his friend slammed the door behind him.

————— 

They were avoiding each other on the way to the slope, but Shane thought it wasn’t too obvious. Until Steven asked them to share a ski lift up to the top.

“Steven, I’m not sure that’s a great idea,” Shane whispered, having pulled him aside for some privacy.

“We need pictures, and one of the two of you on a ski lift will go great on our socials, you know that. Just suck it up and play nice, okay?” Steven was not a confrontational guy, and this was already more of a fight than Shane had ever seen him put up about anything, so he sighed and gave in. A moment later he was sitting as far to the side of the small ski lift as he could, with Ryan pressed up against the opposite side. They turned around in the seat and waved at the camera TJ was holding for a little bit before going back to the icy silence that made Shane shiver worse than the biting wind.

_ How high is this damn slope? _ he wondered after what felt like twenty minutes of riding the ski lift. As soon as he thought it, though, the lift stopped suddenly.

The car swung forward violently, their bodies thrown against the seatbelts. They both yelled in surprise, and Shane squeezed his eyes closed so that he couldn’t see the mountain below while his hands grabbed for whatever they could reach.

After a few stomach-lurching sways back and forth, the car finally stopped and Shane managed to slow his breathing and pry his eyes open. The entire ski lift was in a dead stop.

He turned to his left to see that he was holding tight onto Ryan’s sleeve, and Ryan had a firm grip on his own arm. The tension between them seemed to have faded, at least for a moment, as they leaned on each other—literally.

“Are you guys okay?” Shane turned to see Steven in the lift behind them. It hadn’t left the loading zone, so he was being helped out of his car by the staff. 

“We’re fine!” Shane called back. “What happened?”

“I don’t know! It shouldn’t take too long, though! Hang tight!”

“Like we have any other options,” Ryan muttered to himself.

They managed to slide away from each other, pretending that they hadn’t grabbed at one another in their blind panic. 

After a little bit of awkward silence, Shane swung his legs a little bit, only to hear Ryan make a strange squeaking noise. “Shane! Stop swinging around!” His eyes were wide and he had grabbed at the seat so tightly Shane knew his knuckles were white in his gloves. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, stopping his legs. “I’m bored. I’m too scared to get my phone out, I know I’ll lose my grip on it.”

Ryan nodded, pointedly looking up at the cable holding the cars of the ski lift as opposed to down towards the ground who knew how far below them. 

They sat in silence for a little while before Shane looked over and realized how badly Ryan was shaking. “Dude, you’re freezing.”

“I’m fine,” he practically spit out. The tone was somewhat belied by the chattering of his teeth, however. 

“If you shiver any more you’re gonna end up shaking a screw loose or something. I don’t wanna fall to my death because you didn’t want to huddle. Get over here.” He reached over for Ryan’s arm.

Ryan pulled away. “A fall from here wouldn’t kill us, it’d just hurt like hell.”

“Yeah, and I want to avoid that, and not just because it would be really awkward to explain to the paramedics. Slide your ass over here.”

Finally, Ryan gave in and slid closer to Shane, who slid out one arm from his parka and wrapped it around Ryan. Despite the small space, Ryan was still trying to keep distance between the two of them. 

Shane looked at Ryan, taking in his clenched jaw trying to keep his teeth from chattering and his arms crossed and held close to his chest to try and conserve heat. His heart fell a little bit as he thought about how distant Ryan had been the past couple days. How distant he was being right then.  _ I’m gonna have to bite the bullet sometime, _ he thought.  _ No time like the present. _

“Ryan. Please. Can we just talk about this?” He didn’t even bother to try and hide the hurt in his own voice. 

“What the hell is there to talk about?”

“Look, I know you’re upset that I talked to Buzzfeed, but I didn’t think—”

“Of course I’m upset! Why would you even—” He pulled away and out from the coat, eyes filled with so much intensity that Shane was taken aback for a second. 

“I didn’t want to say anything to you until it was official,” Shane said softly, realizing how dumb it sounded to his own ears. “I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“You fucking— you didn’t think it was a big deal?” Ryan was practically yelling at this point, and Shane was dimly afraid that Steven and TJ could hear from the loading zone. He knew better than to try and calm Ryan down, though, it would only make him more angry. “I thought I was—” He stopped for a second, seeming to catch himself in whatever he was trying to say before he continued. “I thought _ we _ were more important to you than that.”

Shane frowned, confused. “Wait, Ryan—”

“You could at least let me down easy and not just go ask for your old job back!”

That definitely didn’t make any sense. “I didn’t—”

“I thought you were a better man than just dipping on someone after they admit they have feelings for you!” 

Shane opened his mouth, but wasn’t sure what to say. He and Ryan simply stared at each other for a moment.

After a silence that felt like a small eternity, Shane finally found his voice. “You… you have feelings for me?”

Ryan’s face fell. “You… didn’t read that email I sent you?”

“What email? What are you talking about right now?”

Ryan buried his face in his hands. “I’m… I’m just going to unbuckle and fall now.”

“Don’t you fucking dare until we figure out what’s happening here. I wasn’t interviewing at Buzzfeed, Ryan.”

“But, Steven said that you were at an interview the other day.”

“I was. I was interviewing someone about joining Watcher. We talked about this. I had shown you her videos and everything, you said it was a good idea.”

“You said that interview would be next week!”

“She asked to move it up! I must have forgotten to tell you.”

“But what about the email I saw from Buzzfeed that said ‘welcome back’ in the subject bar?” Ryan insisted.

“ _ I _ thought you were angry with me because I was renegotiating my contract with Buzzfeed. They’re talking about bringing back ‘Debatable’ and wanted me in at least a few episodes and I wanted to do it. That’s what I thought this whole thing was about since you were so adamant about only doing ‘Unsolved’ with them.” Shane stopped suddenly, thinking for a moment. “Wait—when were you looking at my emails?”

“Oh… Um… That makes a lot of sense, actually. I was…” His face was already pink from the cold, but the color was deepening even as he was pointedly looking away from Shane. “I kind of hacked into your email account to delete the one I sent you before you could read it. I was emailing my therapist, we’ve not been able to talk face-to-face because I’ve been so busy, and I mentioned… yeah…” He seemed to be avoiding making the admission again, but Shane let it slide. “Anyways, I was sending out emails while talking to somebody and got confused and I ended up accidentally sending that one to you. I was supposed to email you the itinerary for the trip.”

Shane couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out. “Let me make sure I have this right. You accidentally emailed me something that contained personal information, including that you like me, and instead of telling me there was a mix-up and asking me to ignore it, you decided to delete it like the worst James Bond ever, but while you were at it you saw an email from Buzzfeed and assumed I had read it and was leaving Watcher without talking to you?”

“When you say it like that…” Ryan murmured, studying his own gloves closely.

“It’s a good thing I love you too because you can be such an idiot sometimes.”

“Wait—” Ryan looked up at him so quickly Shane was afraid he was going to get whiplash. “You—what did you just say?”

“I said that I love you too. Is it really that much of a surprise?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Fair enough.” Ryan sighed. “So, not only are you not leaving Watcher, but you also like me back? I’ve got this right?”

“Yes. You do.”

“Good. I wanted to make sure before I did this.”

Before he could ask what “this” was, Ryan had placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down into a quick kiss. 

After Ryan pulled back, they stared at each other for a moment, each trying to decide on what to say, on what feelings to try and put into words.

Shane gave up and leaned back in, kissing Ryan again. He was slower this time, feeling Ryan’s chapped lips against his own, the cold tips of their noses bumping each other’s cheeks. The contrast between the cold of Ryan’s skin and the warmth of the inside of his mouth was almost intoxicating, and Shane couldn’t help the way he pulled him in deeper, trying to get more. 

Suddenly, the lift jerked forward, and the grip they had on one another tightened and they pulled apart, eyes wide in fear. After another jerk or two, however, the lift began moving again. They heard cheers from all the other cars and joined in. 

“Hey, we survived,” Ryan laughed. 

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure for a little while in there,” Shane replied, noticing they were still holding on to each other tight. He pulled back a little awkwardly, and noticed Ryan’s face fall. 

“I’m—sorry, did you not—I mean—“ 

Shane cut off Ryan’s halting phrases. “No, I didn’t mean, I just…” he sighed. “I don’t know what  _ this _ is,” he said with a gesture between them. “I didn’t think you’d want to tell anyone anything until we knew what to say.”

“Shane, I don’t fucking care what anyone else—“ before he could finish, their seat finally reached the summit and they got to unload and stretch their legs. 

Shane found a bench and pulled his skis off. “I don’t really feel like it anymore. My legs feel like jelly after dangling for so long.”

Ryan nodded and sat beside him—not touching, Shane noticed—and pulled off his own. “Me too.” 

Before Shane could bring up what had happened, Steven appeared. “Hey, there you are! As soon as it started moving I climbed back in the one behind you guys.”

He looked between his two friends, seeming to notice the anger from before had been replaced by a strange tension. “Are you guys okay? Get to talk it out and everything?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, right back to normal,” Shane said. 

He felt a sharpness in his side and looked to see that Ryan had elbowed him. “Dude, what was that—“

“Things are a  _ little _ different,” Ryan said, and Shane didn’t have a chance to react before Ryan kissed his cheek. 

Shane felt his eye go wide as his jaw dropped and face grew heated. 

He was saved from responding by Steven clearing his throat. “Right. Good to see it. We didn’t really have any plans for the rest of the day so you guys can… yeah, I’ll see you around.” With that he slipped away. 

“What was that?” Shane questioned. 

“I think he deserves to know.”

“Ryan,  _ I _ don’t even know what this is.”

“Me either.” He felt Ryan’s hand rest on his own. “But we can figure it out as we go. That’s what we always do, right?” 

Shane gave Ryan’s hand a quick squeeze. “Okay.” 

—————

Somehow, they made their way back to the resort, barely moving apart from each other the entire trip. As soon as they walked into their room, Ryan kissed him again, and Shane was so lost in it he almost didn’t realize when his back hit the wall behind him. 

The height difference made Shane have to bend over to be as close as he wanted. After a moment, he pulled away and started tugging off his layers. Ryan did the same, and in a rush they stripped down before he pushed back against Ryan, walking him backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed and he fell backwards, landing on the bed and looking up at Shane with an expression he didn’t even recognize. His best guess, though, was  _ want. _

Without a word, they both began pulling off their shirts and then Shane straddled Ryan’s legs, kissing his neck. 

Ryan made one of his funny high-pitched noises when Shane bit at his collarbone and Shane had to pull back to laugh. 

“Stop it,” Ryan said with a huff of laughter. 

“I didn’t realize you  _ actually  _ make those noises in bed.”

“You thought I did?”

Shane felt himself blush even deeper. “Shut up.”

He could barely brace himself before Ryan grabbed him and flipped them so he was on top. “Don’t think I will.” 

Shane could barely form words as he looked up at Ryan. He’d known his friend was strong, but had never even imagined what Ryan could do with it. 

Those thoughts couldn’t get far, however, when Ryan began kissing his neck and down his chest. He couldn’t fight the soft sounds he let out at the touch, let alone when Ryan’s hands traced down his sides to his hips. 

“And you said  _ I’m  _ noisy,” Ryan whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine. 

Ryan pushed at the waistband of his pants, and Shane’s hips jerked up against him in response. 

“Is this okay?”

Shane nodded. “Yeah.” 

Smiling, Ryan continued. “Just checking.” 

With his pants and underwear pulled down, Shane’s half-hard length jerked into the open. 

“Nice to see it’s proportional,” Ryan smirked. He pulled off and threw the clothes to the floor, followed by his own before covering Shane again. 

Ryan climbed up his body and kissed him, hard and hungry, stealing his breath, before sliding his hand down to cover his hardening dick, causing Shane’s hips to stutter against the touch. “Ryan,” he moaned softly against his lips. 

He pulled away from Shane’s kiss and moved down before, without warning, taking all of Shane in his mouth. 

Shane groaned and had to work not to jerk forward. “Ryan!  _ Holy—!”  _ Shane exclaimed, hands flying to Ryan’s hair and grabbing it tightly. He looked down to see Ryan looking up at him from under thick lashes. He would have sworn Ryan was smirking around him. 

It didn’t take very long for Ryan to make Shane release into his mouth. After swallowing it all, he moved back up to Shane’s lips and kissed him again. Shane groaned into it when he tasted himself on Ryan’s tongue. 

Shane moved his hand down to Ryan’s hips, finding his cock and starting to spread the precum down its length. 

At Ryan’s moaning against him, Shane picked up speed, and with another high-pitched moan, he came in his hand. 

Ryan fell against Shane’s chest, and they were both breathing heavily for a moment. 

“I’m really glad you’re not still mad at me,” Shane said against Ryan’s hair. 

Huffing a laugh, Ryan looked up at him. “You and me both. We should probably clean off. You have no idea how much I want a hot shower after today.” 

“I might have an inkling.”

Ryan smiled at him and kissed him again. “Maybe we can wait a little longer, though. You’re warm.” 

Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan and held him to his chest. 

Outside, the snow kept falling.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed, and happy holidays!
> 
> If you wanna leave kudos and comments as a Christmas present for me, I'd appreciate it ;)


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